Learning to Appreciate the Little Things

Music and lights

Tonight I was sitting in Anabelle’s room as she was falling asleep. For the most part, she does this by herself, but she has had a cold for several days so nights are harder on her own.

So I sat there quietly as her eyelids got heavier and her breathing slower and steadier. I watched this amazing young woman in awe. She who used to fit in a size 3-month onesie and now wears women’s size 7 pants and can do push-ups and burpees better than me.

“Echo” played calming sleep music. For good or bad, we still have the free version that comes with the device. That means that every 4 or 5 minutes a friendly voice interrupts the peace by loudly suggesting we pay $4.95/month to avoid interruptions.

[I do see the irony but I refuse to be bullied.]

Unbothered, she slept on.

As I stood to leave(dirty dishes were waiting), I found myself glancing at the wall to my left. There was a square of moving/shifting shadows on the wall. The last light from the setting sun must have been shining through the trees and reflecting on our house. There was a fairly strong wind outside of her open window and I must not have closed her curtain all of the way. All of these factors made for a magical “movie” on the wall.

It was mesmerizing to watch these erratic, almost balletic movements of the trees. I was overcome with a feeling of peace and immediately sat down. Anabelle’s soft, steady breathing, the calming music, and this beautiful act of nature made for an extraordinary moment.

More to life than dirty dishes

And then I realized that the dishes could wait. There would never be a moment just like this one. The conjunction of all of these events had created, what felt like, a perfect moment in time. The kind of moment that we hope to relive during our last few breaths.

It wasn’t the first memory-making moment.

It’s just that now I am better at recognizing and appreciating them.

So I sat quietly and enjoyed being exactly where I was. Close to one of my children whom I love with all of my heart. Being treated to what nature does so well…surprise us!

I haven’t always let the dishes wait

When it was only me I was better at spotting and soaking up these one-of-a-kind events. My time was more my own to enjoy different experiences. I remember many afternoons resting on a blanket at the Marina in San Francisco. Those times were about enjoying nothing more than the way the wind felt in my hair and the sound of the boats rocking in the bouncy water. Once I met Robert we often experienced these moments together.

When the children joined us things got busier and many of those special moments were times we tried to freeze with a camera to appreciate later. Sure we also tried to be as present as possible but so many things(feedings, changing, sleep deprivation, work, etc.) got in the way of that. On more occasions than I care to remember I didn’t stop to “smell the roses” when a task needed tending to. Sometimes it’s just the nature of being a parent or a busy person with or without kids.

Thank goodness for Ulverton

Then one afternoon about 11 years ago, coming back from The Ulverton Wool Festival(Yes! that is a real thing), something changed. It was about 5:00 pm and the sun was starting to set so the sky was an incredible mix of oranges and reds. The trees still had their Fall tapestry colors and the wind was just warm enough to leave the car windows open a bit. All three kids were sound asleep in the backseat.

As I glanced in the rearview mirror to check on them I was overcome with this incredible sense of happiness and love. I somehow “knew” that this moment was something that I should soak up and enjoy. I just felt like no other moment would ever be exactly the same and I should remember it.

It was then that I promised myself to look out for and embrace these “little moments” as best as I could.

All we can do is try our best

It is, nonetheless, very easy to get caught up in the “to-do lists” and checking off the boxes for things accomplished on any given day. So some days I am better at following through than others.

Being in Anabelle’s room tonight was simply a reminder of that promise I made myself.

I have often heard the comment that a person’s life flashes before their eyes when they confront death. If true, it would seem that our special moments and experiences(good or bad) will make up our “movie on the wall” when we are fading to black.

And if that is the case then I cannot think of a better way to go out than watching all of the moments that I have and will embrace for the “special” that they were.